The year has brought nothing but series of expected let downs and surprising challenges. From a poorly managed pandemic to a ridicule of a leader to killing people in open air without consequences to people coming out as being straight. This year has been one hell of a roller coaster ride.
wait.
no.
One hell of a merry-go-round, and I may be ready to expel my gut content any second now.
Adding onto the things that make my gut wrench and move in a way that I vomit (projectile) are the things fake-account bearing users post on the popular online forum. From asking free food to internet packages to asking for arrangement of people who will please them sexually. I have never been much of a patriot and neither am I a nationalist but seeing the king and the head of the state work tirelessly these couple of months, I am proud of the nation I am from. Proud of the people and their obedience of the law. Of course, a basket of apples is bound to have ones with worms on it.
I scrolled down to take a look at the comments. There were those who simply pointed out how funny the post was, some who agree and others who disagree totally. All this reminded me of 2013, when I was behind a computer, my fingers set on the keyboard and typing my day away keeping away the flake news and lie bearers.
On a personal note, the year has been as tiring as the previous years have been for me. Most of the time, I spent watching and re-watching movies and series. Reading books that made me sleep five minutes into reading it, failing constantly to keep a healthy and sight-appealing physique.
Every now and then, the wide open hours remind of 2017 when the university had shut down and I was left not knowing what to do. There were students out in the sun , marching for what they thought was right. Getting riddled with rubber bullets and high pressured hoses. There were constant news saying, “classes will start soon” and “it is getting better.” They had a solution but it never came out and the word of it floated around, eventually diffusing in the nothingness of the air.
And I, I sat in a room, on my laptop writing half finished stories and poetry that makes me want to scratch my eye out considering how dull it is. I stare out the window sometimes. Sometimes I poke my head out and look at the sky. My heart freezes and then races its fastest when a memory seems to close. So much so that I could touch it. The warm air and the silent roads reminds me of the roads in the NFL colony. There was a park in the colony where nobody went at night. I used to sit in the swing and lay straight, let my hair touch the ground and the swing sway my body. The sky looked warm but cautious. It still does. I hate heights and am not a big fan of snakes but I would lay there, swaying mid air, my hair sweeping the ground, till the guard told me I was too old to sit on the swing.
The colony was quiet and mostly uneventful. During Diwali, it was lit up brighter than any Christmas tree anywhere. The scooty rides when the sun fell down were the best. I wonder if the auntie in the shop by the gate ever became less mean. On more than one occasion, I have made a bed out in the terrace and slept in the open sky, looking at the little lights of the planes flying over head, dreading the day I would have to get back on one and leave the place. Summer was the best time to lay out on the balcony, chat about life over a cup of tea or a bottle of cocacola. The best time to call people over and eat.
Winter was the best for fire and badly barbecued chicken. Early winter mornings, the terrace would be covered with fog. Kind of felt heavenly.
I am still not sure whether it is the people or the place I feel such connection to. I often look at the night sky and remember the Noida air.
Maybe it was forgetting the rest of the world that I miss.
I swear, when I walk through silent roads or wait for a bus on a warm summer night, I can almost walk back into the past.
Word Chugger 